A knock

The first thing I remember is the last thing I saw the toilet rushing up to greet me like a bizarre porcelain Liverpool kiss, then…nothing.

Underneath me, there’s something soft, and distinctly un tile-like.

It feels like the blood is rushing to my head. Am I upside down?

Dare I open my eyes?

One eye first, then the other, try to ease into the shock.

It’s a bad idea. There is no easing into the shock.

I’m lying on grass with my head pointing down a hill. I’m staring at the inverted fields of purple grass that flow off to the horizon where the sky gently sways in the breeze.

I must have hit my head harder than I thought.

I hear the unmistakable farting of a 1960’s VW combi van and sit up; It’s another bad Idea. My head pounds in time with the engine sputter .

I watch as the psychedelic van pulls up nearby, its swirling colours join the throbbing and I think I’m going to be sick.
I hear my own voice call out. “You okay Man? You don’t look so good.”

I look up to see that it’s me driving the combi.

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I tell myself.

“Well don’t spew up here or the A.B.’s will give you a body seach you’ll never forget.”

“A.B’s” I ask.

“Antibodies, dude, get with it.Get in,” I say to myself, “you shouldn’t be in here”

“What? I shouldn’t be in where? What is this place?”

“Your head, stupid” I answer. “You can’t be in here. Get in the van before the thought police get here.You’ve got to get out of your mind man.”

“I think I already am.”

This is going to get worse before it gets better, I just know it.

Did I say that out loud.



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